Introducing “We Need to Talk About the Funeral”
We would like to re-introduce our book “We need to talk about the funeral” which was published a few years ago and is now available to read on our website.
“From the moment you start reading this book you think, ‘Why on earth didn’t someone think of writing this years ago?’ It genuinely satisfies a long felt want because we are far too squeamish to discuss or even think about our own deaths.
The Victorians were much wiser. They knew the good of thinking about death well in advance and took interest in every detail. They saved money to pay for their funerals, sometimes finding it hard to afford it, but feeling a sense of security when they had actually done so. This splendid book will offer you all the options and all the possibilities you might want to think about, give you a guide on costs and, above all, will make life much easier for your family and friends. What could be a better legacy for them than that?” Claire Rayner
What do you do when someone dies? How do you arrange a funeral? You may have more idea about what you don’t like about funerals than what it is you would like and we have brought together 101 practical points in our book to give you information and to help you make choices.
The funeral rites and ceremonies of your religion may offer you great comfort, but if you do not attend a place of worship on a regular basis, like four out of five people in the UK, you may be looking for a more individual approach to funerals.
All the ideas in our book have come from our work with clients, to give you
enough information to take charge to the extent that feels right for you, along with the necessary reassurance to help you fulfil your wishes.
There is no expectation to hold a ‘perfect funeral’, but rather an appropriate,
heartfelt one. Families, friends and communities can move away from convention to reclaim choice over how to hold a funeral and experience how important this is for grieving and remembrance.
As part of our work as funeral directors we hold discussions and talks about
death, funeral arrangements and ceremonies. We meet people who have a desire to talk candidly about death and what funeral directors do. We have heard a powerful voice demanding more participation by the bereaved in caring for the body and in the funeral ceremony, to bring in more heart and soul to complement the already efficient procedures. It is refreshing to see more women becoming involved with funerals in the roles of clergy, funeral directors and celebrants.
Our main objective is to give a perspective on funeral arrangements that is
rarely heard, enabling you to find your own way to think about and achieve what you want. Rather than listing popular poetry and music we encourage you to choose pieces specifically for the person who has died and we recommend existing anthologies. We do not examine the funeral rites of specific faiths, but offer ideas and perspectives, which might appeal to anyone looking for a funeral that does not adhere strictly to a tradition. Our intention is not to create a rival to traditional religious practices but to be inclusive of tradition and innovation. A personal, open-hearted and memorable funeral reflects the spiritual beliefs of the person who has died – and the bereaved.
Our experience has shown that small gestures can improve a funeral and make it more personal and touching, which is why some simple ideas, which can transform the whole experience, are included. Alternatively, you will find here what you need to create a wildly unconventional funeral if you wish.
We appreciate enormously the courage of all the individuals and families who have engaged in the challenging process to find the right place, music and words in order to create an authentic ceremony at times of overwhelming grief. Their persistence to give their loved ones the best possible funerals and ceremonies they could has been an inspiration to us personally and professionally, and provided the basis for our book, which we hope will inspire more people to do the same.
