Helping Children Cope with Grief
Supporting children through the process of grief can feel overwhelming, especially when they’re struggling to understand and express their feelings. Children experience grief differently depending on their age, understanding, and personality, and it’s essential to provide them with the appropriate tools and support to navigate this difficult time.
In this blog, we’ll explore how to help children cope with loss, with guidance from trusted UK-based resources and links to charities that can offer additional support.
How Children Understand Death at Different Ages
Infants and Toddlers (0-3 years)
At this age, children won’t fully understand the concept of death, but they can sense loss and react to the emotions of those around them. They may display changes in behaviour, such as increased clinginess or disrupted sleep.
Preschoolers (3-5 years)
Young children often see death as temporary or reversible and may not grasp its permanence. They might repeatedly ask when the person will return or show curiosity about death in a matter-of-fact way.
School-Age Children (6-12 years)
At this stage, children begin to understand that death is permanent. They may feel guilt or responsibility for the loss, even if they had no control over it. It’s vital to reassure them that it wasn’t their fault.
Teenagers (13-18 years)
Teenagers have a more mature understanding of death, but they may struggle to express their emotions openly. They might withdraw or display anger as they process their grief.
For more on children’s understanding of death, visit Child Bereavement UK.
How to Support a Grieving Child
1. Be Open and Honest
Use clear, age-appropriate language when explaining death. Avoid euphemisms like “gone to sleep,” which can be confusing for children. Instead, gently explain what has happened and allow them to ask questions. Charities such as Winston’s Wish offer resources on how to have these conversations.
2. Validate Their Emotions
Let children know it’s okay to feel sad, angry, confused, or even guilty. Reassure them that grief is a normal response to losing someone and that their feelings are valid.
3. Maintain Routines
Keeping daily routines consistent provides a sense of security and stability. Familiar activities like school, meals, and bedtime rituals can help children feel grounded during uncertain times.
4. Encourage Expression Through Creativity
Sometimes, children may struggle to articulate their feelings verbally. Encourage them to express themselves through drawing, writing, or play. This can be a healthy outlet for processing emotions. YoungMinds has helpful resources for understanding children’s mental health.
5. Include Them in Farewells
Involving children in rituals, such as funerals or memorials, can help them feel connected and provide a sense of closure. Explain what to expect beforehand to prepare them. Many families find it helpful to create memory boxes or scrapbooks to honour their loved one together.
6. Use Memory Projects to Reflect
Activities like planting a tree, writing a letter to the deceased, or creating a photo album can help children preserve the memory of their loved one and create a lasting tribute.
7. Seek Professional Support
If a child’s grief seems prolonged or their behaviour changes significantly, consider reaching out to a professional counsellor. Services such as Cruse Bereavement Support and Child Bereavement UK offer support specifically tailored for grieving children and families.
Additional Support and Resources
The following UK-based organisations provide a wealth of resources, counselling, and support for grieving families:
- Winston’s Wish: A UK charity supporting children and young people after the death of a loved one.
- Child Bereavement UK: Offering support and guidance to families facing bereavement.
- Cruse Bereavement Support: Providing a range of services for those grieving a loss, including tailored resources for children.
- YoungMinds: Supporting the mental health and wellbeing of children and young people, including resources on grief and loss.
Final Thoughts
Helping children cope with grief requires sensitivity, patience, and an understanding of their unique needs. By maintaining open communication, validating their feelings, and encouraging creative expression, we can help them navigate their grief in a healthy way. Remember, you don’t have to do this alone—there are many organisations that can offer guidance and support when you need it most.
If you or someone you know is supporting a grieving child, don’t hesitate to reach out to one of the charities mentioned above. Together, we can help children find comfort and resilience in the face of loss.
