Personalising Your Farewell: A Guide on Creating a Bespoke Funeral

Losing someone close to you is often a deeply emotional experience, and it can be challenging to navigate the process of planning a funeral during such a difficult time. A bespoke funeral can offer a unique and meaningful way to honour the person who has died by reflecting their personality, interests, and values throughout the service. In this guide, we will explore the steps involved in creating a personal funeral and share examples of unique and memorable services that have truly celebrated the lives of those who have passed.

Start with a Personalised Theme

One of the first steps in planning a bespoke funeral is to choose a theme that encapsulates the essence of the person. This theme can be woven into every aspect of the funeral, from the choice of coffin,  the music and readings to the decorations and order of service. Consider their passions, hobbies, personality and achievements when selecting a theme. For example, if they were an avid gardener, you might incorporate favourite flowers and plants from their garden or even hold the ceremony in their garden. The order of service could have a floral theme. For a vegetable grower the coffin spray was entirely made of vegetables. You can have a picture coffin, with any photos on it. A man who sketched and wrote in little notebooks had these scanned and made into a pattern. A pianist had a keyboard themed coffin. Many people concerned about the environment and nature have willow coffins.

Choose Meaningful Music and Readings

Music and readings play a significant role in setting the tone of a funeral service, and choosing pieces that hold personal meaning can make the event truly special. You might select the person’s favourite songs or pieces of music that fit the theme, for example ‘Thank You For The Music’ by Abba for a musician. A ballroom dancer who loved jazz had ‘In The Mood’ by Glenn Miller. Or consider readings that reflect their beliefs and values, such as poetry, religious texts, or excerpts from literature. Don’t be afraid to think outside the box – the more unique and personal, the better. We have played everything from Albinoni’s Adagio to Frank Zappa.

Include Personal Touches

Adding personal touches to the funeral service can create a lasting impression and help attendees feel more connected to the person who has died. Consider displaying a collection of cherished photographs or a slideshow. At one funeral the daughter spoke about her mother by picking up objects from a memory table filled with meaningful items and talking about them. Guests can be provided with a relevant memento to take home, a piece of material or button of a dressmaker, a china cup from a collection, a packet of Polo mints. You might also invite friends and family to share stories or memories during the service,or give everyone a card on which to write a memory, which tends to get more responses than a memory book.

Customise the Funeral Transport

The choice of funeral transport can also reflect the person’s personality and interests. If they had a camper van, consider hiring VW Camper hearse. For motorcyclists, you could explore options for a motorcycle hearse (motorcycle and sidecar or trike and trailer).

Select an Appropriate Venue

While many people opt for traditional funeral venues, such as churches or crematoria, a bespoke funeral offers the opportunity to select a more personal location. Consider venues that held special meaning. We have held funerals in the pub where they played jazz on Sunday lunchtimes, a cinema, on boats, in a museum, in an art centre, at a favourite house and garden, at home, many different places where we have gained permission.

A bespoke funeral offers a unique opportunity to honoura life in a way that truly reflects their personality, interests, and values. By adding personal touches and tailoring the service to individual preferences, you can create a memorable farewell that celebrates the life of the person who has died and offers comfort to those left behind. Remember, there is no right or wrong way to personalise a funeral – the key is to ensure that it remains a relevant and heartfelt tribute.

There are many ideas in our book ‘We Need To Talk About The Funeral’. If you would like a free PDF copy please email: book@heartandsoulfunerals and we will send you one with our compliments.