I was talking to someone who said that these modern, more individual funerals for the ‘babyboomer’ generation might be seen “not as a fitting conclusion to a life well-lived, but as the last self-congratulatory gasp of a lifestyle made possible by unfair accident of birth.”
It is certainly a danger, and therefore it is important that non-religious, more individual funerals have beauty and ritual to give them depth. Theatre director James Roose Evans wrote in Creating Ritual “A ritual is a journey of the heart, which should lead us into the inner realm of the psyche, and ultimately, into that of the soul, the ground of our being. Rituals, if performed with passion and devotion, will enhance our desire and strengthen our capacity to live.”
I couldn’t agree more, and rituals can be made around the time of death, for example caring for someone who has died – some women came to wash and sing to their friend who had died; another group to bind the body in white cotton; vigiling –family and friends coming together to tell stories whilst decorating the coffin; and during the service, with candle rituals, the laying of rosemary and symbolic flowers, singing together. It is about working creatively towards rituals that match the culture and beliefs of the person who has died and their community, to give meaning and depth to each funeral. In this way, the modern funeral will keep a sense of the sacred, of being part of a larger fabric of life and death, holding universal meaning – truly a funeral with heart and soul.
